How Much Time Do Couples Spend Together?

Couple drinking coffee, reading newspaper and talking

Well, if you guessed 4 minutes per day you were right!

 

Interesting fact by RandomHistory.com

Five Tips for Getting More Time Alone with Your Spouse



Love must be fed and nurtured...first and foremost it demands time.
- David Mace

Were you surprised by the answer to the quiz? Four minutes a day! The average couple spends FOUR minutes a day alone together! No wonder so many marriages are in crisis! 

It seems as if busyness has become a national pastime, especially for those of us with kids. If we're not stuck in twelve hour work days, on the highway, or shuttling children to a multitude of activities, we're engulfed in chores, errands, homework, or... you fill in the gaps. Sometimes we don't even know where there time goes. All we know is that we're at the end of the day and frazzled with no time left to even sit for five minutes with our partner. We settle into a routine where we live like roommates or "like two ships passing in the night."

This pattern does not have to continue! We can be deliberate about building strong marriages that last the test of time, that are intimate, fun-filled, with great communication and deep friendship. And this starts with being intentional about making time for each other. Just as intentional, or even more intentional than you are about getting to work on time, or meeting that project deadline or keeping that commitment to the PTO. 

Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Make your time together a written appointment. It is said that we only attain the goals that we have written down. So set a time and write it down like you would an appointment. Make sure it's not left-over-time, like after 11:00 pm when your eyelids are closing and you can't speak in complete sentences. If possible, try to keep the same time everyday, so that it becomes a regularly scheduled activity.

2. Start small. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Begin with 10-15 minutes a day and keep this commitment at all costs, as if your life depended on it, as if your married life depended on it!! Because it does!! It can be time on the porch, without the kids, chatting over herbal tea, or over a foot or back rub. Anything, but keep the commitment! 

3. Have devotions together. This is a great way to spend time with God and also with your partner, growing in your relationship with Him and also spiritually with your spouse. It's the ultimate win-win.

4. Workout together. So, most of us don't think we exercise enough. Well, why not make it a couples activity and "kill two birds with one stone!" You both get to keep your "tickers" in shape, as well as your marriage. 

5. Go to bed at the same time. Another great way to spend quality, intimate time together is to go to bed together...literally! In many homes, one spouse will spend time on the computer, reading or watching tv way after the other spouse has gone to bed. They often do this as a way to "unwind" after a long day. What better way to unwind than with your spouse? You can watch a movie together in bed and snuggle, or spend time giving each other massages. No heavy discussions allowed! Who knows what that might lead to???!!!

Well, can you do it? Can you make a small commitment that can yield huge results in deepening your friendship, communication, intimacy, and love for your spouse? I believe you can and I'm rooting for you! 

 

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